LOST SOULS
by Enitan Bereola
Sunglasses and Advil, last night was mad real.
A single dose of Mifeprex and 200 milligrams of Misoprostol shaped like four tiny snow-covered stop signs. 20 Tiffany-blue Doxycycline tablets to prevent infection and some Ibuprofen for the pain. There were documents and instructions, and then there was blood … lots and lots of blood. There was soaking flesh and heavy bleeding. The process was working.
What happened? Was I in your way? You couldn’t afford me? Why didn’t you just give me a try? Please? These are the squealing voices hauntingly piercing the ears of roughly 100.4 million Americans. It’s one off the most never talked about most common occurrence in our communities. Rapper, J. Cole wasn’t afraid to tackle the issue on a track titled, “Lost Ones” on his debut album. He starts off the song with this:
“And I ain’t too proud to tell you that I cry sometimes, I cry sometimes about it / “Baby girl, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you / I got you pregnant, now inside there is a life in you / I know you wondering if this is gonna make me think ’bout wifing you / Like if you have my first child, would I spend my whole life with you? / Now I ain’t tryin’ to pick a fight with you, I’m tyryin’ to talk / Now I ain’t tryin’ to spend the night with you, I’m kinda lost / … Think about it, baby, me and you we still kids ourselves / How we gonna raise a kid by ourselves? Handle biz by ourselves? / I’m barely over 20 / Where the hell we gonna live? Where am I gonna get that money? I refuse to bring my boy or my girl in this world when I ain’t got nothin’ to give ‘em / And I’m not with them brothas who be knocking girls up and skate out / So girl you gotta think about how the options weigh out / What’s the way out?”
The way out is adoption, prayer or manning the hell up. There are plenty of reasons why abortions occur across America, but not those reason politicians try to justify. Only 1% of abortions are performed because of rape or incest, 1% because of fetal abnormalities and 3% due to the mother’s health problems. The overwhelming 95% of all abortions are done as a means of birth control.
Abortion is the new condom. It’s as easy as deciding between a hot dog and a Philly cheese steak. Ask three of your honest friends if they’ve experienced the procedure first-hand and one of them will say, yes. We can talk sports, chat politics and discuss relationships, but our lips are sealed like the Navy when it comes to the real life happenings that truly affect our souls. Abortion is happening in our community. There’s a pink elephant in the room. Let’s chat about it.
In 2005, I had my very own J. Cole moment. I received a phone call almost identical to the skit on Usher’s “Confessions” album. “Are you–are you serious? How do you know? Put that on everything. Damn. I’m gonna call you back. I’m gonna call you back!” Except I wasn’t in the studio, I was on the way to South Beach for spring break when I heard the news. She said it costs $350. I told her I didn’t necessarily want her to go through with it, but I knew my opinion wouldn’t change her decision. I think about it everyday. And I ain’t too proud to tell you that I cry sometimes, I cry sometimes about it.
Ladies, this is for you: Your body is your own. But when you decide to share a portion of your flesh, that portion is now shared with the person you laid with. If pregnancy occurs, both parties have the right decide upon the decision made.
Gentlemen, this is for you: Every lady you lay with has the potential to make you a father. Condoms are cheaper than child support and abstinence is free.
I didn’t write this column to promote an opinion – in fact I didn’t even provide my opinion. I just want you to know that the time it took you to read this column, seven lives were aborted.
Pleasantries.
– Enitan Bereola, II
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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective.
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http://www.bereolaesque-online.com/
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